How to write a 5 minute number in 3 days

1. Pretend it's possible.
2. Find a premise.
3. Write with no regard to style, structure or spelling. 3 to 4 pages so you can cut it down to 2.
4. Go over everything once and see if anything funny comes up.
5. Take away all the ideas that make no sense or suck.
6. Change the order of things until it sort of sounds coherent.
7. Insert old jokes that fit the bill, but don't crowbar anything in.
8. Read it until you can punch at the right places.
9. Stop as soon as you'd rather puke than read it again.
10. Wait 24 hours. Read it again.
11. Stop procrastinating by writing a blog dumb-ass. This shit ain't going to write itself.

Guess what I'm supposed to be doing?

How do I work in a group?

My favorite class should be exported into classrooms and offices everywhere. Creativity class blows my mind. If you want a taste, buy the book 'Thinkertoys' and you will start to get it. There are so many ways to get your creative juices flowing. Seemingly endless ways to find new ideas.

I can't stop gushing about it!

So why do I have trouble doing the homework? I feel like the class has given me a safety net. I know what to do if I need help to write. There seems to always be a way to get out of a funk. And just when you learn one way, another way reveals itself. So that's why I can't analise what I do wrong when, with these tools, I should be all good.

Today I figure out how I work in a group. But that's all relative. Everything is relative, and we have techniques to get things working for any group too. Am I just being lazy? Or have a really absorbed what I am supposed to have to?

First Friday over

We have these things called Fridays. I know what you're going to say: Annie, I'm pretty sure we all have those. Good! I like a quick audience. I'm not talking about the day of the week, although the Fridays I'm talking about do end up falling on a Friday (go figure). I'm talking about comedy!school and our creation class.

We've been sitting pretty in a sort of comedy laboratory for the first 4 weeks of school, trying numbers out on our class, really whatever we wanted. I am not the best at trying out characters, and I cannot hold an accent or a speech pattern for 1 minute, let alone 5. That's basically what I tried out, with varying degrees of success (still can't hold a speech pattern or accent).

Our first Friday just ended and the 11 of us were quite good, if I do say so myself. I was proud that although we all, with nerves, went over our 5 minutes, every one of us knew our text and every one of us was inventive. There are no weak links in our class. I take this as a good thing, because I want everyone to succeed and to push each other to be better. That said, there is rarely room for everyone to succeed it seems, so it does make me sad.

I've got to feed three kids and my overgrown adolescent husband, I need to be one of those people who succeed. I need to transcend. I probably need to be a man... Ok, so I don't, but if I had a dick it would be a lot easier to succeed. How come my monologues go over better when a guy does them, even when they don't even have good comedic timing? Actually, I don't mind being a writer, as long as I get to live doing something I love.

Back to now: joke writing is freaking hard. We have a class that teaches us all the types of jokes, which we usually write into a monologue. In that class, we have to pluck them out of thin air with no topic, set up or text, hope they're original and correct and FUNNY. That class will be my downfall. Seriously.

On another note, I need my hair done badly. I used to laugh at people that went to the hairdresser, now I don't want to get laughs because my hair is ridiculous. Especially if my hair is funnier than the jokes I'm doing which, if it were the case, kill me now.